News

Summer 2008 Update!

Hi Ya'll!!

Just a quick note to check in with all of our "Golden Notes" friends! We hope you are enjoying the summer as much as we are!

"Summer In My Soul," our new recording, is nearing completion! We hope to have all our vocals completed within the next two or three weeks. It seems as though these things take an eternity to work through! Hopefully, you all will think the wait was worth it when we debut the album later this summer!

We were very honored to have made the Top Ten Nominees in this year's "Diamond Awards!" While we did not make the final five nominees, we are nonetheless excited to have been among this year's group in several categories. Keep up with the Diamond Awards at: SGNSCOOPS.com

Once again this year, we had a tremendous time visiting with some of our "Okie" friends as we celebrated in song at the Del City Gospel Music Singing with Pastor Vera Radley! We have learned to LOVE Pastor Vera and all the fine folks at Del City First Church of The Nazarene. They have a great Gospel singing each month, if you are in the OK City area, look them up and check out their great fellowship!

Well, it is almost official...as of July 8th, 2008, Cheryl will have been in wedded bliss for 25 YEARS! That's right, 25 YEARS have flown by since Cheryl proposed! Ha! All kidding aside, Cheryl and I will celebrate our "Golden-Silver Wedding Anniversary!" (You can call it that if your last name is Golden!)
You all can send your sympathy cards to Cheryl via email and I will see that she gets them!! Ha!

Don't forget some very important items...first, if you would like to share an experience with the music or ministry of D&CG, you may do so by submitting your letter or email. That letter will then be used on our "Mail of The Month" Feature at www.daleandcherylgolden.com . Second, remember to mention our ministry to your fellow church members, friends, business associates, etc. We are constantly seeking new places to share the unique ministry God has given us. Thirdly, we covet your prayers. We have NEVER been under attack as we have been the last couple of years. We need those who will go to the Lord in prayer for us, regularly, in search of his blessing and guidance.

July 2008 Letter Of The Month

Dearest Dale,

For months now I have been passively sitting back reading your emails as they came through and looking forward with eagerness of what new profound thought for the day or words of wisdom you would bestow our way. Your faith, determination and love for the Lord continues to shine through each and every trial you have experienced. I am still awe struck at how much the Lord is teaching me also through your experiences and words. Perhaps you may not have realized the positive spiritual impact you have made in our life and I am certain in the lives of others as well .Just so you know....you have. I am without words to tell you how much...

Bro Larry and Jen Smith

"Clear Margins" Article - 1st release 9/26/06

"Clear Margins." To many people, this term might mean little, if anything.
If you ask a Cancer Survivor what it means, however, you will find it to be
one of the most beautiful phrases in the English language. I am a Cancer
Survivor TIMES TWO.

I have now heard this phrase, as it applies to me, twice in the last six
years. One came six years ago with a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer (98%
fatal) and the other in September, the result of a new diagnosis of
malignant melanoma, which just happens to be the deadliest form of skin
cancer.

In early September, a trip to my Dermatologist to have him check a
suspicious-looking mole on my neck ended up with two biopsies and a week
later, a surgical procedure to remove a 1 inch by 4.25 inch slice of tissue
from behind my left ear to below my jawline. You might say I had "cosmetic"
surgery...I had surgery, now I need some cosmetics...ahem.

(I hope this helps explain our conspicuous absence at National Quartet
Convention. It seems we must have our "annual" NQC crisis, be it surgery,
hurricanes, or terrorism. Our apologies to those who hoped to see us in
Louisville. Now, back to my story.)

Once again, I found I am quite a grower of cancer cells! Some guys grow
corn, others wheat. I grow cancer. I am also prolific in fat cells, by the
way, which makes me double-productive. I guess if I were a property, I
would be fertile Kansas farmland, downwind and downhill from a dairy farm or
feedlot. Things just seem to float my way.

Some of you may get that later. Or not. Just remember, I have had surgery
on my head recently.

I am both blessed and happy to say that all further biopsies of the removed
tissue show "clear margins." In other words, no sign of spread cancer.
Glory to God! I couldn't wait to let everyone know of this blessing, but
just when I was about to share my good news with you, the Devil threw one
more sucker punch...another suspicious mole found when I had my sutures
taken out that had to be removed and biopsied!!

So for another stressful week, I quietly waited for the results of biopsy
number three. The results are now in and are benign! There's another
beautiful word, BENIGN.

Therefore, tonight I can officially tell you that I am cancer free! CLEAR
MARGINS...BENIGN. I told a dear friend last week that I am a now cancer
survivor of TWO types, pancreatic and malignant melanoma! Cancer may one
day take my mortal life, but it can only do it ONCE. I have (by God's
Grace, not my strength) now beaten cancer TWICE! The best "score" the
disease can ever achieve is losing, 2-1. Cancer will never win more from me
than I have already won over it! Should cancer ever kill me, no one can
ever say "he lost his battle to cancer." They will have to say, "he passed
away after winning 2-1 over cancer!"

My story is a lot like the message of Christ. The Devil can win the day.
He may win the week, month or year. He may win the fight, but in the end,
He ALWAYS AND FOREVER HAS LOST THE BATTLE! Jesus paid it all, all to him I
owe, as the song says. DEATH, NOR DISEASE, CAN WIN OUT OVER ME BECAUSE OF
WHAT CHRIST HAS DONE!!

Don't take my sharing this with you as confidence or arrogance on my part.
My "victories" are Gods, not mine. I am NO MATCH for Satan. He wears me
down day in and day out. Sometimes I think it is because I always try to
give God the glory and delight in reminding Lucifer he has lost already.
Maybe it is because I remind folks just what a LIAR he is. Perhaps I am
just plain 'ole dumb for doing this, as it enrages him all the more. It may
be that is what brings so much trial into my life, and into the lives of my
loved ones. I don't think I will change, however. I grow a lot of
stubbornness, too.

I am such a far cry from what God would have me to be. Every day, I let Him
down, my family down and myself down.
It does not change the fact that He is so good to me. His love and mercy
abide in me, else I would die from my own
lowliness.

I do thank you for the thoughts and prayers of the last few weeks. Keep
them up, I need them more than even this letter can say. Prayer can and
does make a difference. If you don't believe it, just take a look at me. I
will leave you with some very familiar scripture:

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in
green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He
guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are
with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Green pastures. Still waters. Clear margins.

Dale Golden
www.daleandcherylgolden.com

Dale & Cheryl Nominated For Diamond Awards!!

I am happy to announce that DALE & CHERYL GOLDEN have been nominated in
the Top 10 of the 2008 SGN SCOOPS DIAMOND AWARDS in the following
categories:

DALE & CHERYL GOLDEN - DUET OF THE YEAR
DALE GOLDEN - CHRISTIAN COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR
DALE & CHERYL GOLDEN - FAVORITE ARTIST WEBSITE
HYMNS OF GOLD - ALBUM OF THE YEAR

We had such a strong turn out for the nominations this year. Our Top 10
ballot looks really great this year! Now it's time to vote for the Top 5
finalists!

The final nominees will come from this Top 10 ballot. Fans are encouraged
to get their votes in for their favorite songs, albums, artists, websites,
individuals, etc. for this year's awards program, which will be held on
Friday, September 12th, in Louisville, KY during the National Quartet
Convention.

Due to construction, we have had to move the 2008 SGN SCOOPS Diamond
Awards to a new location. This year's celebration will be held at the
Executive Inn at the main gate to the Kentucky Fair & Expo Center. The
program will start at 1:00 pm in the Canterbury Room, and is still free to
the public.

The online ballot is designed for fans to vote for their favorite artists
for each award. You can urge your fans to visit the Diamond Awards
website at http://diamondawardsonline.com to place their vote.

You may also download a paper ballot from that site, or our magazine
website (www.sgnscoops.com), print it out and pass them out at your
concerts.The deadline for voting is May 17, 2008.

Thanks & God Bless!!

Allen Smith
Publisher SGN Scoops
573-220-8231

Dale's Top Ten - May 2008

TOP TEN LAMEST EXCUSES TO MISS CHURCH THIS SUNDAY:

10. "MY CHURCH RECENTLY INITIATED A "NON-SMOKING" POLICY...""

9. "IF 10% IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR TITHING, ATTENDING 10% OF THE TIME SHOULD BE, AS WELL..."

8. "NONE OF MY DRESS CLOTHES MATCH THE CHURCH PEWS..."

7. "I CAN'T HEAR MY IPOD WHEN THE CHOIR IS SINGING..."

6. "WAITING FOR CHURCH RECLINERS TO ARRIVE..."

5. "THE CHURCH MASSEUSE IS ALREADY BOOKED FOR THAT SERVICE..."

4. "WHY GO TO CHURCH WHEN I CAN WATCH "OPRAH" INSTEAD?..."

3. "I HAVE BRAND-NEW BED LINENS I'M TRYING TO BREAK-IN..."

2. "NO BREAKFAST BUFFET IN SANCTUARY..."


AND THE NUMBER ONE LAMEST EXCUSE TO MISS CHURCH THIS SUNDAY:

1. ANY EXCUSE NOT MENTIONED IN THE PREVIOUS NINE...


Remember folks, they can't all be gems...
Dale Golden
www.daleandcherylgolden.com
Copyright Dale Golden 2008. May be used with permission and large amounts of free hair-growth formula.

May 2008 Letter Of The Month

Dale and Cheryl;

Our church was blessed by your concert. We had a man come in today to tell us that his cancer is gone. He had lost all his hair and had been going through chemo. The doctors checked him out today and could find NO trace of cancer in his system. He shared with the doctors about your concert here last Sunday and said it was the greatest "treatment" next to chemo he could possibly had experienced. He was just in the office praising God for sending you and for his healing!

Again you were a blessing and used of the Lord, not just your music but your entire testimony.

Will continue to pray for you!

Mark

Poppy and Grammy for the second time

We have great news! We have become Poppy and Grammy for the second time! Our daughter Stefan Elise gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Breeana Lynn at 9:39 PM February 26, 2008. Both Mom and Baby are doing well and should be coming home soon.

As any "pesky" new grandparent is bound to do, I am attaching photos for you to MARVEL at (ha!). Isn't she GORGEOUS!
I am one proud POPPY!

Praise be to the Great Giver Of Life who has blessed us in such a awesome way!

Dale (aka Poppy) and Cheryl (aka Grammy)

Golden Notes - January 2008

2008 is off to a roaring start! We pray you are happy and healthy! As has been the case for the last 8 years, we started 2008 at The Rockport Gospel Music Festival in the beautiful coastal town of Rockport, Texas. It was great seeing so many friends and fans! RGMF is three days of continual Southern Gospel music from some of the best groups in the nation, coupled with an awesome final presentation by several combined local choirs to finish the event on Sunday night. If you have never attended, make plans now for 2009. The Rockport Gospel Music Festival is held annually on the first weekend in January. For more information, go to www.gospelforce.org.

As I mentioned previously, it was great seeing so many of our wonderful artist friends, including Howard and Lou Wills Hildreth, The Crimson River Quartet, The Relations Quartet, Shiloh, The Melody Boys, The Telestials, David's Song, Reunion, The Baileys, The Moody's, Jerry Bennet, Mike and Teresa Rodgers, Mike Franklin, John Olsen, The Rockport Gospel Force, Song Of Glory and many others! Also, special thanks to the Ballentines of Rockport for being such a wonderful host family.

The coming weeks and months promise to be eventful ones as we begin our latest project entitled "Summer In My Soul". "Summer In My Soul" will contain 12 original songs written by Dale. Music tracks are set to begin in a couple of weeks, graphics are complete and we are ready to see it to completion! We are as excited about this project as any we have ever done. Help us pray the recording goes smoothly and results in a project that magnifies and gives honor to God.

Singing News Top 80 for D&CG!
We are elated to announce our latest release with The Rick Hendrix Company, "Return To The Fountain" charted at number 69 in The Official Singing News Chart for January 2008! This is our highest chart in Singing News to date. "Return To The Fountain" also debuted at number 50 in The Gospel Music News Chart! Thanks to fans, radio and The Rick Hendrix Company for their support!

Send Your Letters!
We have initiated some new features on our website, including a "Letter Of The Month". This feature highlights some of the many letters, cards and emails that people send us in appreciation for the effect our ministry has had on them, a loved one, etc. If you, or someone you know, has been impacted by this ministry, we invite you to share your comments by sending them to us for placement on the website. It is always good to see how God is reaching people through our efforts!!

Send Your Photos!
If you have photos of Dale & Cheryl Golden in concert, we invite you to send them to us as well. We will consider posting them to the website for all to enjoy!

Name Clarification!
It is common practice in our society to refer to a married couple as "The Smiths", "The Jones" or, in our case "The Goldens".
God has blessed our ministry in such a way that we are now reaching a more national-scale audience. We are grateful and excited about that. For the last six years, our official "group" or "business" name has been simply, "Dale & Cheryl Golden".
(I had to have a name I could remember! Ha!). It is not "The Goldens".

Please be aware that the name "The Goldens" is being used by Rusty and Chris Golden. They are the sons of William Lee Golden of The Oak Ridge Boys. They are on the side of the Golden family that has hair on their heads! Ha! (we are not related, btw). You may have seen them on TBN recently sharing some of their testimony. These guys are making great inroads into Gospel Music after many years of Country-Rockin'! We are so excited to see what God is doing in their lives and music! They are "The Goldens", We are "Dale & Cheryl Golden".

Prayer List:
Rev. Dupre' and family
Rev. Smith and family
Jim and Kathy
David and Karen
Gary and Patty
Patrick and Patti
Rev. Dill and family
Roy and Leetta
Leon and Robbie
Mike and family
Sherman and family
Buddy and family
Dwain and family
Lester and Mary
Danny F.
Danny C.
Ricky
Mike and Rhonda
Rick
Chris
Rusty
June
Walton family
Cheryl
Lola
Rod
Howard and Lou
David and Nancy
David's Song
BJ and Norma
Clorinda
Deanne
Stefan
Breeana
Adri
Mandy
Addy
Lindsey
Roy and JoAnn
Ralph and Joanne
Danielle
Dale R. and family
Delma
Jonathon
Jackie
Dale
Carla and family
Christy
Mary
Elsie
Kerri
Shari
Norman
Jessica S.
Charlene
Apryll
Larry
Lori
Charles
Roy Jr.
Daniel
Josh and Kelli
Jeremy
Jordan
Gerry and Devonne
Mick and Arlene
Wayne and Debbie
Tonya and Steve
Amy and Joe
Molly
Bailey
Mitzi
Misty
Susan E.
Susan J.
D&CG

New Articles!
We have also updated the site with both new and classic top ten lists. Check them out!

Be good. We love ya'll!

Dale and Cheryl

NEW FEATURE! Letter Of The Month!

FEBRUARY 2008

In May 2006 I was in a very near fatal car wreck. I was forced off the road at 50 mph breaking both legs, arms several ribs, collar bone, lots of head trauma but the worst was breaking my neck in two places. The spinal chord was badly swollen and bruised. I was blessed with a godly neurosurgeon and internist. After two surgeries on my neck, I awoke after several days to see my pastor, his wife (and my friend), my husband and my children around my bed in prayer. My first thought was "is this my funeral?". It was then that I realized that I could not move anything. My children flew in from VA, NE, IA, WA and TX on bereavement flights. All I could think of was Christopher Reeves and that I could not do that. I searched for God everywhere! Friends would read to me from Christian books, the bible, but nothing reached my soul. For me it was as much a spiritual battle as it was physical one. One day soon after, Ken brought my CD player to my hospital room. He brought the CD "Glory Coming Down" by Dale and Cheryl Golden among others that I had purchased at the Rockport Gospel Fest in January. Soon that was the only CD I would listen to. I listened to that CD day and night for six weeks. Nurses would actually ask if I didn't want to listen to something else. NO! All the songs were great and an uplifting distraction to the pain but the one I clung to was "I Heard His Voice". There are special parts in that song that I knew God was speaking just to me. IE. "In that secret tender moment when it was just the Lord and me, He said I bore your every burden and I felt your agony. For in your weakness I'm made perfect and your made stronger by My might. Oh I thank God I still hear His voice, in the still of the night". I held on to His promise and I began to feel His presence and the healing began - both spiritual and physical. I can't listen to this song without crying. Thank God I really do still hear His voice in the still of the night. May God continue to bless Dale and Cheryl Golden for all they do in bringing God's message to us. I know God inspires the writing and the music. I also know that he blesses them with His gift of music. Thank you Dale and Cheryl and Praise God!

Gini S.
Nacogdoches, TX

P.S. - I am so sorry I missed the Gospel Fest but just a day or so before it started I started having a lot of pain in my neck and shoulders. We came back home to Nacogdoches and Dr. Randle had to fuse C4 through C7. The hardware was coming loose. I am recoversing, still playing your CD all the time and my favorite is still "Glory Comin' Down". It always will be. It saved my life and helped me find God when I had given up. I hope all is well with you and I look forward to more CD's. The misnitry you have is so important to so many. God love you both.



JANUARY 2008

Dear Friends,

I hope you don't mind the personal application of a term of endearment, "friends". Paul used it in his letters and epistles. The Savior even regarded us as his friends.

I so enjoyed your wonderful concert of praise and joy last night. It was uplifting and edifying to my Spirit. I especially enjoyed how the Holy Spirit touched the Spirit of my sweet Mom as you sang and then prayed for her. Cancer has been, not only her battle in life, but through her faith and the power of the Atonement, it has become her stepping stones to the arms of the Father and His Son. We all have gained stronger testimonies by her strength and example. Your ministry last night though, was a wonderful and sweet deposit in her emotional bank account. Thank you for that...

...May our Father in Heaven bless you with increased strength, health, hope, and faith as you continue on in your ministry.

Prayerfully yours,

Debbie V.
Silsbee, TX

Classic Top Tens

TOP TEN ROMANTIC LINES A SOUTHERN GOSPEL GAL LONGS TO HEAR:

10. "Darling, you mean more to me than a prize pig..."

9. "Your kisses are sweeter than a Moon Pie dipped in Blue Bell..."

8. "You're the only girl I've ever asked to help push my bus..."

7. "If God didn't want us together, we wouldn't be using the same brand of hairspray..."

6. "Hey baby, that's one FINE casserole dish you have there..."

5. "What do you think about the name "Vestal" for a baby girl?"...

4. "What's a nice girl like you doing in a Cracker Barrel like this?..."

3. "Those overalls sure make you look thin..."

2. "Just because I have a SHORT tie doesn't mean I don't LONG for you..." ahem.

AND THE NUMBER ONE ROMANTIC LINE SOUTHERN GOSPEL GALS LONGS TO HEAR:

1. "Honey, I love you better than fried chicken..."

Just remember folks, they can't all be gems...
Dale Golden
www.daleandcherylgolden.com
copyright 2006 May be used with permission and large amounts of free fried catfish.


TOP TEN REASONS WHY SOUTHERN GOSPEL ARTISTS CAN NOT BE SANTA CLAUS:

10. Who wants to travel by reindeer-sleigh when they can travel by forty-two-year-old bus instead...

9. Fuzzy-Red-and-White-Santa suit much too conservative for most artists...

8. We believe in shooting deer, not guiding them prancingly along the rooftop...

7. The official Santa Snack would have to be changed from milk and cookies to fried chicken...

6. Flowing white Santa beard would banish us from some popular magazine covers...

5. Children would reject a Santa that reeks of diesel fuel...

4. Certain Santa's would wreck Christmas tradition by wearing cheesy pink outfits...

3. "I-saw-mommy-kissing-Santa-Claus" would precipitate national tabloid scandal...

2. Who would actually be willing to work on Christmas Eve Night for a snack food???

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY SOUTHERN GOSPEL ARTISTS CAN NOT BE SANTA CLAUS:

1. Fitting into Santa Suit would require too large a weight loss...

Remember folks, they can't all be gems...

Copyright Dale Golden
All Rights Reserved. May not be duplicated without permission and large sums of free fried catfish.
www.daleandcherylgolden.com


MY TOP TEN SOUTHERN GOSPEL "BOMBSHELL" PREDICTIONS FOR 2007:

10. Phil Cross rocks southern gospel world when he reveals he has actually been wearing a bald wig...

9. "Inspirations" poor showing in charity marathon forces them to rename group "Expirations"...

8. Due to continued severe drought conditions across the U.S., "Karen Peck and New River" become "Karen Peck
and Dry Gulch"...

7. While at a concert, an unsuspecting McKameys fan suffers head trauma from flying shoes...

6. Gerald and Rodney's increasing age mandate new name change to "Corrected Vision"...

5. Ricky Atkinson is banished from Georgia when it is revealed in humor column he is fervent Dallas Cowboys fan...

4. The Northmen create turmoil and panick when they are seen in concert wearing conservative gray suits...

3. Captain of Luxury Singing Cruise vessel denies boarding of Anchormen, citing too many "snags" from
"their kind"...

2. Unexpected weight gain of previously fit-and-trim group members forces "Legacy Five" to become
known as "Legacy-Five-and-a-Half"...

MY # 1 SOUTHERN GOSPEL "BOMBSHELL" PREDICTION FOR 2007:

1. After this column goes to press, Bill Gates goes broke donating money to "Goldens" litigation defense fund...


Remember Folks, they can't all be gems...

Copyright 2007 - Dale Golden
May be used with permission and large sums of free fried catfish
www.daleandcherylgolden


TOP TEN CELEBRITY NAMES...HAD THEY GONE INTO SOUTHERN GOSPEL MUSIC INSTEAD...

10. JOHNNY PARSON...

9. ELVIS POLYESTER-LEY...

8. JOHNNY NO-PAYCHECK...

7. MINNIE PEARLY-GATES...

6. GEORGE "POSSUM-EATIN" JONES...

5. PRIVATE SANDERS...

4. JOHNNY CASH-LESS...

3. GIRTH BROOKS...

2. GEORGE W(alkin-instead-of-driving-my-broke-down) BUS...


AND THE # 1 CELEBRITY NAME...HAD THEY GONE INTO SOUTHERN GOSPEL MUSIC INSTEAD...


1. ROYandDALEandtheirGOLDENhorsetrigger.

Remember folks, they can't all be gems...
Roy Dale Golden
www.daleandcherylgolden.com
copyright Dale Golden. May be used with permission and large amounts of free fried catfish...


TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE "SOUTHERN GOSPEL"...

10. IF YOU HAVE EVER PUSHED A BUS IN A THREE-PIECE SUIT.....

9. IF YOU EVER OWNED A SUIT OR DRESS THAT MATCHED THE INTERIOR OF A 1975 CADILLAC COUPE DEVILLE...

8. IF YOUR IDEA OF A FIVE STAR RESTAURANT IS ONE THAT HAS RED-AND-WHITE-CHECKED TABLECLOTHS...

7. IF YOUR QUARTET HAS EVER SANG SIX OFF-KEY NOTES AT ONCE...

6. IF ONE OF YOUR GROUP MEMBERS HAS EVER BEEN MISTAKENLY IDENTIFIED AS "CAPTAIN KANGAROO...

5. IF YOU HAVE EVER OWNED A PINK SUIT OR PINK WIG, OR KNOW SOMEONE THAT DOES...

4. IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE IN A COW PASTURE...

3. IF YOU EVER WENT ON A CRUISE IN HOPES OF VISITING "GILLIGANS ISLAND"...

2. IF YOU EVER WENT TO A CONCERT WHERE THERE WERE MORE THAN SIX HEARING AIDS FEEDING BACK AT ONCE...

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU MIGHT BE "SOUTHERN GOSPEL"...

1. IF YOU HAVE EVER JUSTIFIED SNACKING IN A CHURCH SERVICE BY CALLING THEM "BILLY-GRAHAM-CRACKERS"...

REMEMBER FOLKS, THEY CAN'T ALL BE GEMS...

DALE GOLDEN
WWW.DALEANDCHERYLGOLDEN.COM
COPYRIGHT DALE GOLDEN. MAY BE USED WITH PERMISSION AND LARGE SUMS OF "BILLY-GRAHAM-CRACKERS."

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE "SOUTHERN GOSPEL" (CONTINUED)...

10. IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS A CHILD NAMED "VELVEETA", YOU MIGHT BE SG...

9. IF YOUR FRONT YARD HAS EVER BEEN MISTAKEN FOR A RECYCLING CENTER, YOU MIGHT BE SG...

8. IF YOU PERSONALLY KNOW ANY MAN WITH BIGGER HAIR THAN RONALD MCDONALD, YOU MIGHT BE SG...

7. IF YOUR MOST VALUABLE INHERITANCE OPPORTUNITY IS "AUNT ETHYLENE'S TAPE COLLECTION," YOU MIGHT BE SG...

6. IF YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED A "LOVE OFFERING CASSEROLE," YOU MIGHT BE SG...

5. IF YOU CONSIDER MACARONI AND CHEESE A VEGETABLE, YOU MIGHT BE SG...

4. IF YOUR CHURCH HAS A SMOKING SECTION, YOU MIGHT BE SG...

3. IF THE PHRASE "DEMOLITION DERBY / REVIVAL" MAKES SENSE TO YOU, YOU MIGHT BE SG...

2. IF YOU'VE EVER SAT ON A PEW THAT WAS OLD ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU "BOBO-BIGHT," YOU MIGHT BE SG...


AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU MIGHT BE "SOUTHERN GOSPEL"...

1. IF THERE ARE MORE PLASTIC DEER IN YOUR COUNTY THAN REAL ONES, YOU MIGHT BE SG...


Remember Folks, they can't all be gems...
copyright Dale Golden. May be used with permission and large amounts of melted Velveeta.
www.daleandcherylgolden.com

TOP TEN LAMEST EXCUSES FOR MISSING "TOP TEN" ARTICLE SUBMISSION DEADLINE:

10. BUS BROKE DOWN ON WAY TO POST OFFICE...

9. HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MEETING DEADLINE OR WASHING TOUPEE...

8. WAS BUSY SHAVING FACIAL HAIR IN HOPES OF SELECTION TO APPEAR ON MAGAZINE COVER...

7. COULDN'T PULL SELF AWAY FROM RERUNS OF "GREEN ACRES"...

6. THREE WORDS..."BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER"...

5. COMPUTER RAN OUT OF GAS...

4. VOICES IN HEAD SAID "GO BUY PINK SUIT TO WEAR ONSTAGE" INSTEAD...

3. AUTOMATIC BAT-CAVE-DOOR ON THE BLINK...

2. STUPID POST OFFICE ONLY OPEN FROM 8 AM TO 5 PM MON-FRI...

AND THE #1 LAMEST EXCUSE FOR MISSING "TOP TEN" ARTICLE SUBMISSION DEADLINE:

1. HUGE ROYALTY CHECKS FROM PREVIOUS "TOP TEN LISTS" HAVE MADE ME LAZY AND LACKADAISICAL ABOUT WORK...

REMEMBER FOLKS, THEY CAN'T ALL BE GEMS...
copyright Dale Golden. Use with permission and large amounts of ground beef, tantalizingly grilled over an open flame...
www.daleandcherylgolden.com

Some of this months "Top Ten" have actually happened to us during our years in ministry. Enjoy this months edition of "Dale's Top Ten".


TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE SOUTHERN GOSPEL (CONTINUED):

10. IF YOU THINK "PLASTIC" IS THE OFFICIAL VARIETY OF CHURCH FLOWER, YOU MIGHT BE SG...

9. IF YOU HAVE EVER FANTASIZED ABOUT USING A CHURCH COLLECTION PLATE AS A FRISBEE, YOU MIGHT BE SG...(real)

8. IF YOU THINK A "CELL PHONE" IS THE ONE DANIEL USED TO CALL ON GOD FROM THE LIONS DEN, YOU MIGHT BE SG...

7. IF YOU HAVE EVER EATEN AT A RESTAURANT WITH A FIBERGLASS COW ON THE ROOF, YOU MIGHT BE SG...(real)

6. IF YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED A "LOVE OFFERING" OF SAUERKRAUT AND FIG PRESERVES, YOU MIGHT BE SG...(real)

5. IF YOU HAVE EVER HELPED CATCH A FROG, A SKUNK OR A SQUIRREL IN THE CHURCH SANCTUARY, YOU MIGHT BE SG...(real)

4. IF YOU HAVE EVER EATEN FRIED CATFISH FOR BREAKFAST, YOU MIGHT BE SG...(real)

3. IF YOU HAVE EVER SANG IN CONCERT TO 0 (THAT'S ZERO, AS IN NONE) PEOPLE, YOU MIGHT BE SG...(real)

2. IF YOU'VE EVER PARKED YOUR PREVOST NEXT TO YOUR 40-YEAR-OLD MOBILE HOME, YOU MIGHT BE SG...(real)

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU MIGHT BE SOUTHERN GOSPEL (CONTINUED):

1. IF YOU HAVE EVER TAKEN YOUR HAIR TO THE DRY CLEANERS, YOU MIGHT BE SG...

Remember folks, they can't all be gems...
Copyright 2007 Dale Golden. May be used with permission and large amounts of sauerkraut and fig preserves...

TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE PREVIOUS "TOP TEN" WAS NOT FUNNY:

10. EARLY SUMMER SUN OVER-EXPOSURE TO BALD HEAD CLOUDS THINKING...

9. FELL AND BROKE MY FUNNY BONE...

8. GLOBAL WARMING...

7. IT'S PRESIDENT BUSH'S FAULT...

6. TRADED SENSE OF HUMOR FOR A GALLON OF GASOLINE...

5. PREVIOUS EDITION WAS THE "LOW-CALORIE" VERSION...

4. ANY RATIONAL REASON ESCAPES ME...

3. "CHUCKLE" JUDGMENT CLOUDED BY DIESEL FUMES...

2. SIX WORDS: NO PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS ON BOARD...

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY THE PREVIOUS "TOP TEN" WAS NOT FUNNY:

1. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR...

Remember folks, they can't all be gems...
Copyright 2007 Dale Golden. All Rights Reserved. May be used with permission and large amounts of free gasoline.
www.daleandcherylgolden.com


TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR PREACHER IS LONG-WINDED:

10. REV. JUST UTTERED THE PHRASE "IN CONCLUSION" FOR THE NINETEENTH TIME...

9 . TWO WORDS: CONGREGATIONAL SNORING...

8. YOUR CHILDREN MOVED UP TO "YOUNG ADULTS CLASS" DURING ONE SERVICE...

7. CHURCH LEADERSHIP VOTES-IN CONGREGATIONAL LOUNGE CHAIRS...

6. WORSHIP LEADER STARTS INVITATIONAL HYMN WITH "WELCOME TO THE EVENING SERVICE"...

5. AT BEGINNING OF SERMON, THE DALLAS COWBOYS ARE 1-0, AT END OF SERMON, THEY ARE 3-0...

4. CHURCH LOSES EIGHT MEMBERS TO OLD AGE IN ONE SERMON...

3. SUNDAY POT ROAST LUNCH LEFT IN OVEN, BECOMES CHARCOAL BRIQUETTE WITH DIAMOND INSIDE...

2. PREACHER'S MESSAGE FOCUSES ON TWO PARTS OF THE BIBLE, THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS...


AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOUR PREACHER IS LONG-WINDED:

1. CHURCH RECEPTIONIST ANSWERS PHONE WITH GREETING: "FIRST-CHURCH-BED-AND-BREAKFAST"...

Remember Friends, they can't all be gems...
Copyright Dale Golden 2007. May be used with permission and large amounts of free fried catfish.
www.daleandcherylgolden.com


TOP TEN REASONS WHY DALE GOLDEN IS A FINALIST IN 2007 DIAMOND AWARDS:

10. WHAT'S A SOUTHERN GOSPEL AWARDS PROGRAM WITHOUT A FAT, BALD WHITE BOY??

9. TWO WORDS: "GLOBAL WARMING"

8. SOUTHERN GOSPEL MUSIC / NASCAR (tm) FANS WILL VOTE FOR ANYONE NAMED "DALE"...

7. FAT, BALD WHITE BOY HAS BACKING FROM ALL-POWERFUL FRIED-CHICKEN-LOBBY...

6. WHEN EVALUATED BY WEIGHT, I AM ONE-AND-A-HALF TIMES GREATER THAN THE OTHER FINALISTS...

5. SOUTH-FLORIDA BALLOTS CAST FOR RICKY ATKINSON MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED...

4. NO $400.00 HAIRCUTS OUT OF THIS CANDIDATE...

3. I REPRESENT AMERICA WELL...NATIONAL BIRD IS A BALD EAGLE, I'M A BALD SINGER...

2. TWO WORDS: "HANGING CHADS"...

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY DALE GOLDEN IS A FINALIST IN 2007 DIAMOND AWARDS:

1. BECAUSE JESUS LOVES ME...

http://www.diamondawardsonline.com/ VOTE NOW!!!!

Remember folks, they can't all be gems...
Copyright 2007 Dale Golden. May be used with permission and large amounts of free fried chicken.
www.daleandcherylgolden.com

This month's column focuses on some of those "all-time favorite" Hymns as they apply to various groups and subjects. I hope you enjoy. I also hope you find your particular favorite.

1. My Wife's Favorite Hymn - "A Charge To Keep Have I"
2. Fruit Of The Loom Hymn - "How Firm A Foundation"
3. A Young Mother's Hymn - "Never Alone"
4. My Bosses Favorite Hymn - "We'll Work Till Jesus Comes"
5. A Tattletale's Hymn - "I Must Tell Jesus"
6. The Gospel Music Promoters Hymn - "He Keeps Me Singing"
7. The Jolly Green Giant's Favorite Hymn - "In The Garden"
8. The Early Commuters Hymn - "Open My Eyes That I May See"
9. The Hymn Of New Orleans - "Higher Ground"
10. The Tax Assessors Hymn - "Count Your Blessings"
11. The White Boy's Prayer - "Lord, Lay Some Soul upon My Heart"
12. The Taxpayers Hymn (a.k.a. known as the Husbands Hymn) - "I Surrender All"
13. The Fat Boy's Hymn - "Bread of Heav'n, on Thee We Feed"
14. The Wage Earner's Friday Hymn - "Must I Go, and Empty-Handed"
15. The Car Buyers Hymn - "When I Can Read My Title Clear"
16. The Fat Boy's Hymn # 2 - "When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder"
17. The Song Leader's Hymn - "Let All The World In Every Corner Sing"
18. The Payday Hymn - "There's A Great Day Coming"
19. The Dentist's Hymn - "Breathe On Me"
20. The Bald Head's Hymn - "Rescue The Perishing"

Remember Folks, They Can't All Be Gems...

Dale Golden
The Goldens Gospel Music Ministries
Tyler, TX
www.daleandcherylgolden.com

copyright Dale Golden. May be used with permission and large amounts of free hair-growth formula.


I have just missed on some really BIG songs I wrote through the years, just because of a word or phrase that didn't quite "connect" with the general public. I am including some of those song titles below. I think you will see what I mean.

DG

TOP TEN SONGS I WROTE THAT WERE NEARLY HUMONGOUS HITS!!!

1. How Great Thou Is
2. Jesus Hold My Nose
3. Victory In Cheeses
4. Holey, Holey, Holey
5. Be Thou My Eyesight
6. Ye Must Be Shorn Again
7. O For A Thousand Tongues To Singe
8. "Whosoever" Meaneth Me, Had Better Shut-up!
9. Whiter Than Snow Ice Cream
10. Love Lifted Me...Of All My Fortune

Remember Folks, They Can't All Be Gems...

Dale Golden
The Goldens Gospel Music Ministries
Tyler, TX
www.daleandcherylgolden.com

copyright Dale Golden. May be used with permission and large amounts of free hair-growth formula.

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